Key takeaways
- Functionised is an integrative wellness practice at 8 Merchants Way, Colts Neck, NJ, made up of FIT Clinic, FIT Lab and FIT Stretch.
- It covers longevity, precision nutrition, strength and conditioning, HRV, mindset, menopause and midlife, and weight loss.
Functionised is an integrative wellness practice at 8 Merchants Way, Colts Neck, NJ, made up of FIT Clinic, FIT Lab and FIT Stretch. It covers longevity, precision nutrition, strength and conditioning, HRV, mindset, menopause and midlife, and weight loss. You book, we test, and the plan follows the numbers.
Am I in the right place if I searched functionised?
Yes. Functionised is the practice at 8 Merchants Way, Colts Neck, NJ 07722, phone (848) 301-1515. We serve Colts Neck and the rest of Monmouth County, with FIT Clinic, FIT Lab and FIT Stretch in Colts Neck, Tinton Falls and Seabrook.
You will own five, six, maybe ten cars. You will own exactly one body. There is no dealership for it.
What does Functionised offer?
Functionised offers health services under one roof, built around one plan for your whole body. The menu:
- Longevity and precision nutrition
- Strength and conditioning at FIT Lab
- Assisted stretching at FIT Stretch
- HRV, mindset and Stoicism
- Relationships and family health
- Menopause and midlife, and weight loss
Strength is the spine of it. A meta-analysis of about 2 million adults found stronger knee extension linked to a 14% lower risk of death. That is an association, not a promise. Still, it is the largest dataset I know, and it points one way.
Who will I see at Functionised?
You will see a team led on the performance side by me, Jim Goetz, NBCE, CSCS, co-founder and Chief of Human Performance. The NSCA describes the CSCS as a credential for professionals who apply scientific knowledge to training.
Here is my scar tissue. I coached strength and conditioning for the Toronto Blue Jays, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the University of South Florida. I was performance coach to Antonio Tarver and Antonio Tarver Jr. I made The Keto Project and wrote The Longevity Trinity and 600 Burgers in 30 Days.
Why should I trust a wellness clinic with my health?
Trust the numbers, not the clinic. If you aren’t testing you’re guessing, so we quantify literally everything and retest before we change a plan.
HRV is a good example. A Frontiers review links heart rate variability to self-regulatory capacity and health risk. Used as biofeedback, it may help you see stress your mirror misses. We never sell a pill, a powder or a guru.
Where does it hurt, and can stretching help?
Tell us where it hurts at your first visit; we describe mechanisms and refer out when pain needs a doctor. Assisted stretching may help range of motion, and dose matters.
A meta-analysis in Sports Medicine studied how much static stretching improves flexibility. A network meta-analysis compared five methods for ankle range of motion. Boring is good. The same stretch, every day, compounds.
What happens at your first visit?
Your first visit is testing before training. We measure, ask questions, then write a plan.
Read why one retest proves nothing and how to fix a protein breakfast first. Then sit with this: what does waiting cost?
Frequently asked questions
What will I feel after my first session at Functionised?
Most people leave knowing their numbers, which is its own relief. After a strength or assisted stretching session you may feel worked, loose or mildly sore. We do not promise a feeling, because bodies differ. We record what you report, then adjust the plan at the next visit.
Most people leave knowing their numbers, which is its own relief. After a strength or assisted stretching session you may feel worked, loose or mildly sore. We do not promise a feeling, because bodies differ. We record what you report, then adjust the plan at the next visit.
Does Functionised work with people on weight loss medication?
Yes, weight loss is one of our services, and medication changes what we measure. Muscle and bone become the priority. Read our guide on why to lift before you start weight loss medication, linked from the Functionised site, and bring your prescriber’s details to your first visit.
Yes, weight loss is one of our services, and medication changes what we measure. Muscle and bone become the priority. Read our guide on why to lift before you start weight loss medication, linked from the Functionised site, and bring your prescriber’s details to your first visit.
Is Functionised only for athletes?
No. Most people we see are adults in midlife who want their body back, not a contract. The coaching methods came from professional sport, but the plan is built on your own tests. A 60-year-old and a pro start at different numbers with the same method.
No. Most people we see are adults in midlife who want their body back, not a contract. The coaching methods came from professional sport, but the plan is built on your own tests. A 60-year-old and a pro start at different numbers with the same method.
Does Functionised help with menopause and midlife?
Yes, menopause and midlife is one of our listed services. We look at strength, sleep, nutrition and HRV together rather than one symptom at a time. Hormone prescribing questions belong with your physician, and our BHRT article explains why pellets and patches differ.
Yes, menopause and midlife is one of our listed services. We look at strength, sleep, nutrition and HRV together rather than one symptom at a time. Hormone prescribing questions belong with your physician, and our BHRT article explains why pellets and patches differ.
How do I book with Functionised?
Call (848) 301-1515 or visit the Functionised website. Tell us what you want to change and where you are in Monmouth County. We will find the right spot, Colts Neck, Tinton Falls or Seabrook, and set up your first round of testing.
Call (848) 301-1515 or visit the Functionised website. Tell us what you want to change and where you are in Monmouth County. We will find the right spot, Colts Neck, Tinton Falls or Seabrook, and set up your first round of testing.
The Bottom Line
Functionised is one practice with one job: measure your body, then train it with a plan you can read. If you are on medication, start with lifting before you start.
Book your first visit at 8 Merchants Way, Colts Neck, or call (848) 301-1515. You have one vehicle. What will you do with it?
Call 848-301-1515 to talk about where to start.
Functionised — 8 Merchants Way, Colts Neck, NJ 07722.
Sources
- Muscular strength as a predictor of all-cause mortality: meta-analysis of approximately 2 million men and women
- An Overview of Heart Rate Variability Metrics and Norms (Frontiers in Public Health)
- Optimising the Dose of Static Stretching to Improve Flexibility (PubMed)
- Flexibility-enhancing Interventions for Ankle Range of Motion: A Network Meta-analysis (PubMed)
- CSCS Certification (NSCA)
This article is for information only and is not medical advice. Speak to a qualified clinician about your own situation.