FOMO is the fear of missing out and is not exactly a new behavior. According to clinical psychologist Anita Sanz, FOMO dates back to early civilizations.FOMO is linked to our stress response. In ancient civilizations, missing out on information, a new food source, for example, could mean the difference between life and death. Being ‘in the know’ was critical to survival.Fear of being left out is actually deeply ingrained in us. In fact, part of our brain specializes in sensing if we are being left out. The problem is, being left out is no longer a matter of life or death, yet we are continually fearful of missing out leads to detrimental consequences. Social media and technology trigger the latest form of FOMO- and some view FOMO behavior as an addiction.Feeling left out or the “fear of missing out” does not feel good, which is why we try to avoid this form of stress. Unfortunately, in the process of avoiding this stress, we create a new behavior of constantly checking social media to see if we’re missing out on anything. This behavior, however, does not lessen stress.
FOMO is essentially a state of mental and emotional stress. There are a number of adverse health effects associated with FOMO, including, but not limited to:sleep deprivationbinge eatingbinge drinkinglack of focusanxietyless participation in academic eventsa cluttered schedule, and insomniaThe lack of time spent on academics, work, or even self-improvement can have detrimental effects not only to a person's goals but on health as well. FOMO causes young people to participate in risk-taking behaviors in an attempt to avoid feeling left out, some of which ironically lead to worse self-esteem and unhappiness.In an attempt to avoid the negative feelings associated with being left behind, social media has become a platform for people to divulge personal information about themselves and their activities with the public. Sadly this can come with a cost, leading to online mocking and bullying, which can consequently lead to lowered self-esteem.A FOMO-aholic may experience loneliness, frequent anxiety, life dissatisfaction, and low self-esteem, all of which can lead to or worsen depression. Most people caught in the FOMO cycle are probably not feeling too great about life. FOMO often originates out of unhappiness.FOMO is an addiction. Studies show FOMO leads people to check social media right after they wake up, before they go to bed, and during meals. How often do you check your phone? A TIME article reports:people between the ages of 18-24 check their phones an average of 74 times a daypeople between the ages of 25-34 check their phones an average of 50 times a daypeople between the ages of 35-44 check their phones an average of 35 times a dayYou may not even realize you’re using social media to make yourself feel better. Unfortunately, this can actually make you feel worse. Platforms such as Facebook don’t exactly paint a well-rounded picture of people’s lives, with the majority of feeds acting more like a highlight reel of life. In spite of this, research shows we can’t help but compare our lives to others. Research also shows people with FOMO have ambivalent feelings toward Facebook. It brings them up and slams them back down strengthening the cycle of feeling down or anxious. This sounds precisely like the highs and lows of addiction. Can anyone guess the most significant disadvantage of having FOMO?It’s the obsession with ‘what could be’, rather than what IS. When we’re continually looking for the next new thing or stressing over documenting our activities via social media just to prove we’re ‘one of you’, we miss out on living in the moment. We become overwhelmed, continually trying to find what we might be missing out on causing us to forget to focus on the here and now.We’re so focused on what everyone else is doing and don’t want to miss out- we forget to ask ourselves what we want out of life and who we want to be. People with FOMO surround themselves with people, but this doesn’t mean they are engaging in deep and meaningful relationships. Deep, meaningful relationships are vital to overall well being. Studies show individuals with supportive and rewarding relationships have better mental health, higher levels of subjective well-being, and lower rates of morbidity and mortality.Relationships are essential for helping us cope with stress and adversity, as well as an individual’s efforts to learn, grow, explore, achieve goals, cultivate new talents, and find purpose and meaning in life. Dozens of studies report that people who regularly take part in satisfying relationships with family, friends, and their community are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer. There are two main drivers of FOMO today, social media and social pressure.SOCIAL MEDIAWhile social media can be a great platform for keeping in touch with long lost friends and relatives, most would also agree that the rise of social media has led to an over-reliance on technology. The need to continually feel connected can epitomize FOMO. The days of real conversations are long gone, merely clicking ‘like’ has replaced the art of language. Let’s be honest, is there anything more exhilarating than posting something and tracking just how many likes you can get. Unfortunately, this happiness is short lived. This form of connection isn’t actually connection at all. Our innate human need to connect with others simply cannot be filled with a few ‘likes’. This explains why no matter how much we post, text, or email, we still feel lonely at the end of the day. SOCIAL PRESSURESocial pressure creates feelings of obligations to attend certain events. While it’s in our nature to want to feel a part of something, simply participating in an activity merely because we’re afraid of missing out misses the point. This again misses the mark for making a real connection.Attending events out of obligation isn’t fulfilling and can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration. The pressure of being social mixed with being fearful of missing out on something can compel us to do things we don’t enjoy. Now that we have a better understanding of what FOMO is and how it develops, we can take a look at different ways to quiet the urges to fill the void of unhappiness. First, we need to find out the source of unhappiness in our life. Is it something situational, for example, are you experiencing a significant life change? Or is it something deeper, a hormonal imbalance perhaps?Whatever the reason, it’s essential to get to the root cause of the issue to truly overcome unhappiness. Let’s take a look at some ways you may be contributing to your own unhappiness to help you overcome FOMO. Negative thoughts can manifest in numerous forms. The thing to remember is that thought patterns can change, and thoughts are not ‘facts’. Here are a few common negative mindsets that can cause you to turn to FOMO behaviors:Judging yourself in a harsh way. Our overly critical inner voice can be shockingly cruel. Try to realize your self-talk is not the truth. Instead, try practicing self-compassion. Replace negative self-talk with positive reinforcement. Blaming ourselves or others for misfortune never leads to a positive outcome. In fact, many psychologists say playing the blame game is one of our most destructive behaviors. Blaming Yourself For Things You Can’t Control. Sometimes it’s easier to place blame on ourselves rather than accept some things are simply out of our control. Be mindful of the fact the only thing any of us can control in life is how we react to situations. Blaming Others For Negative Situations. This one is common; however, in many cases, a negative situation is not really the fault of anyone. Instead of saying or thinking ‘he did this’ or ‘she made me mad’ rephrase your language to ‘I’. Instead of diverting responsibility to someone else, think about how you impacted the situation. Giving in to FOMO has a lot to do with our habits. Replacing harmful practices with more positive ones will help break the pattern.One Way We Cause Unhappiness Is Through Bad Habits And Addictions. FOMO behaviors are addictions, just like smoking or over drinking. While these behaviors seem to relieve stress, it’s just an illusion, in most cases making stress worse in the long run. There are lots of ways to beat addictions, and ultimately, you need to decide to be healthy and happy to participate in more positive behaviors. Comparing Yourself To Others Is Also A Bad Habit That Needs Breaking. There will always be someone with more money, hair, etc. I guarantee even if you could magically obtain whatever it is you think would make you happier, it won’t. Happiness only comes from within. Instead of comparing your situation to that of others, make your own life as good as possible. If stress and anxiety are causes of FOMO, then it stands to reason finding natural and healthy ways to reduce stress and anxiety can help you kick the FOMO addictions. There are tons of ways to reduce stress and anxiety. Try any of these options: Yoga Get out and connect with nature Journal Meditate Learn to be present Practice a calming breath technique Volunteer Go for a run Join a team sport Tap into the power of essential oils Join a book club Get on a regular sleep schedule Do something creative: writing, painting, music, etc Deep breathing exercises are perfect for calming the mind. This technique is free, fast acting, and can be done from anywhere!There are lots of different breathing techniques, give this one a try:1. Close your eyes while in a comfortable seated position. Breathe naturally, through the nostrils, without attempting to control your breath.2. Simply bring awareness to your natural breath. Be aware of the sensation of the breath as it enters and leaves the body. 3. Take a deep breath, inhaling as you count to four. Hold your breath for a count of three. Exhale for a count of four. 4. As you breathe, your mind will be flooded with thoughts. Gently redirect your thoughts to counting the breath. This is the process of becoming more aware of how busy your mind is.5. Resist the temptation to follow the different thoughts as they arise, and focus on the sensations accompanying the breath. 6. Repeat this as many times as necessary until your mind settles on the breath. The sooner you make this a daily habit, the quicker you'll feel relaxed. Mindfulness is one key element missing from the FOMO lifestyle. Mindfulness is a technique that refers to a nonjudgmental observation or awareness that is focused on the present experience.Practicing mindfulness can help those with major FOMO enjoy what they are doing in the here and now, instead of yearning for what else could be.There are many different techniques for practicing mindfulness. The more you encourage your mind to be present, the easier it will become. Eventually, you won’t even have to try.Here are a few simple exercises to get you started.Undivided Attention Exercise Do something around the house, something like washing the dishes can be a meditative practice if done with undivided attention. Pay close attention to how the water feels against your skin, how the soap smells, etc. Candle Staring Exercise. Stare at a candle flame for ten minutes straight while studying everything you can about it. When your mind wanders, become aware of where it’s going, then bring it back to the candle flame. This concept is similar to the breathing exercise. Mindful Hand Awareness Exercise. Grasp your hands tightly and hold for 5 to 10 seconds, then release and pay attention to how your hands feel. Keep your attention focused on the feeling for as long as you can.Social Media Exercise. When you are on social media and see something that someone shared that really irks you, close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, and focus on your feelings. Research has found that being grateful can be a very powerful boost in overall happiness. If FOMO is the result of unhappiness, then gratitude is the antidote. There are so many ways to bump up your gratitude meter. Here are just a few options:Appreciate everything; there is nothing too small for you to be thankful for.Gratitude is not only about being thankful for positive experiences, find gratitude in your challenges. Create a daily gratitude journal. The trick is to picture the situation you are grateful for in detail and sit with that feeling of gratitude in your body. Doing this every day will actually rewire your brain to be naturally more grateful!Volunteering can make you more grateful for the things that you may take for granted. Additionally, giving back to others can increase our own well-being.Share your gratitude of others by expressing that same gratitude to the people you care about. This can both make their day a little bright, and can also increase your own level of gratitude.Boost your happiness in other areas of your life that may be lacking, being grateful can make you happy, but being happy can also make you grateful.No matter which method you prefer, keep in mind your brain is a powerful tool! Training your brain to be more grateful will ensure that the gratitude comes more easily the more you practice. So we know FOMO is the fear of missing out. Any guesses what JOMO is??JOMO is the JOY of missing out! JOMO is about understanding yourself, your needs, and your desires to be truthful with yourself. JOMO helps to encourage you to embrace the pleasure of choosing what you want to do, or not do. At the heart of JOMO is the power to act in a way that engages and fulfills you.Here is a list of reasons why you should ditch the FOMO and embrace JOMO:Instead of spending free time consumed by the drama of social media, email, and text messages, you can choose to disconnect and spend time discovering and doing things that make you happy.Having every moment planned can not only be draining but suffocating. Freeing yourself up from unwanted commitments and online addictions allows time for spontaneity. This is a chance to ask what that quiet inner voice want to experience.Embrace feeling different emotions. Too often, we turn to our technology as a quick fix to being bored, lonely, sad, or frustrated. In reality, this is merely avoidance and not a fix at all. Embracing the lows make the highs that much richer. The ability to experience a range of emotion is what makes us human!JOMO helps you live in the here and now. Stop looking for the next activity, and simply find appreciation for the moment you are living at present. Imagine having (and giving) undivided attention to those you are in the presence of rather than only half-heartedly listening while you scour social media. Here are a few simple steps to help you transition from FOMO to JOMO. Step 1. Disconnect from your technology. Put your phone in a different room, turn off your electronics. Whatever it takes to step away. This might be challenging at first. It’s ok to ease into it. Step 2. Commit to a certain amount of time each day to disconnect. Plan a ‘you activity’ during this time to help serve as a distraction until you become used to being detached. Activities can include writing in your journal, going for a walk, looking through an old photo album... the possibilities are only limited to what you can imagine.Step 3. Reconnect in person. Look people in the eye when you talk to them rather than through your phone. This step can also include reconnecting with yourself by indulging in something you love. Step 4, Understand what others regret in life; it’s typically deeper, more meaningful aspects of life. Such as, not living our personal truths, not appreciating our relationships, not spending more time with friends, and not being honest about who we really are. Attending an event out of obligation is going to be pretty low on the list. Thank you for taking the time to experience my class! This is an important yet overlooked topic, and I hope everyone learned something valuable today!If you have any further questions, please post them below or email me at support@functionised.com .I am always here to support you -Chantea Goetz |
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