This podcast and podcast show notes have been created and compiled by Chantea Goetz, MS, PhD(s)
People with emotional intelligence (EQ) with positive thinking roll a different way. Common examples many of us may face that lead to toxic, irrational thinking are followed by its rational ( EQ) counterpart to aid you in shifting your perspective. 1. Irrational Thinking: I should be liked and approved of by almost everyone. EQ Counterpart: No one is liked by everyone. That is unrealistic. 2. Irrational Thinking: To be worthy and have self-esteem, I have to be competent and successful in all respects EQ Counterpart: I can't expect to be perfect in all respects; it's okay to fail and make mistakes. 3. Irrational Thinking: I'm stupid and don't deserve this. EQ Counterpart: What I did was stupid, and I can forgive myself and try again. 4. Irrational Thinking: This shouldn't have happened. I am to be blamed. EQ Counterpart: This should have happened because it did. I am at fault, but I am not to be blamed. 5. Irrational Thinking: Things always go wrong. EQ Counterpart: I have to accept that sometimes things will go wrong. And that's okay. 6. Irrational Thinking: I am a failure. EQ Counterpart: I'm a person who sometimes fails. And that's okay. I'll try again. 7. Irrational Thinking: I'm a product of my past. I can't change anything. I've always been this way. EQ Counterpart: Things have happened in the past that have influenced my behavior, but I can learn to modify how I think and react if I work at it. People can and do change. 8. Irrational Thinking: I really need to be dependent on someone stronger than myself. My happiness depends on others. EQ Counterpart: I'm the one who ultimately decides what's best for me. Dependency is more like a habit and a state of mind that can be altered with practice. 9. Irrational Thinking: It's easier to avoid than to face this problem; hopefully it will just go away. EQ Counterpart: In the long run, it's better to face this problem and accept my role in it; only then can there be resolution and better relationships. If there will always be negativity surrounding you, how do you get rid of it? Well, you can’t! But there are ways to use it for good, and not let it bring you down. Here’s how negative influences serve their purpose:
It is your choice to let negative people affect you! Realize some of these negative people in your life, genuinely LOVE you. They could be your parents even! Some of these negative words come from protection, and personal insecurities. So here’s how to deal:
Analyze your environment, who are you talking to and what about? What movies are you watching, and what books are you reading? What goes in, will come out! What you feed will flourish, what you neglect will die. Stop complaining about the negative people and negative influences. If you focus, or feed the negativity, you will get negativity back! Start encouraging people around you and you may find they start encouraging you back! So stop focusing on who isn’t behind you, and start looking for people or that one person who is for you. If you can’t find anyone in your personal life, get connected on our Facebook! We are here FOR you, to speak life into you. We want you to succeed, as well as the rest of the community here. Get plugged in, and start dreaming! Removing Negative Habits and Thoughts from Your Life Identify your unhealthy habits: Take a moment to write down any unhealthy habits you are currently practicing in your life. Think about any habits that make you feel unhappy or sucks away all your energy. Cut back on these unhealthy habits: Cutting back unhealthy habits will allow you to use your time on other activities that could lead to progress in your career, your personal passions, and your development as an individual. Avoid negative self-talk: Negative self-talk can sometimes be just as damaging as negative habits. You may practice negative self-talk by only focusing on the negative aspects of a situation or an event, rather than the positive aspects. Use positive affirmations: Turn your negative self-talk into a positive force by focusing on healthy self-talk that makes you feel good. This means never saying anything to yourself that you would not say to anyone else. Evaluate any negative thoughts that enter your mind, consider it, and then respond with a positive thought instead. Be Your Own Best Friend We are mean to ourselves. Nearly 90% of self-talk is negative. Three steps: 1. Release it. Let it out to help process, not to dwell. Three minutes, then the pity party is over. 2. Track it. Identify when you have negative thoughts. Awareness will enable re-framing. 3. Re-frame it. Once you know why you are being mean, consider what your best friend would say to you. Then tell yourself what you need to hear. Leave your questions or comments below and I will be sure to respond to them! -Chantea Goetz |
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